“CHEAT,LIE & TRAVESTY @ NIT-SURAT”
HOW TO FAKE IT UP
We all have our esteem needs, in the sense that we all love to be popular, to be known by people, being talked about ,being the cynosure of all eyes, nothing offensive about that ,because its a part of every human beings psychology. Me no psychologist ,and these facts about esteem ,not my words but that said by famous psychologist Abraham Maslow(MASLOW’S PYRAMID).If u let go of any bias that, u may be having about me and my opinions(i am very unpopular among my batch mates!!!!) then u will probably realize, the truth behind Maslow’s hypothesis
I won’t go much into the details abt esteem needs on the other hand i will share with u some valuable tips ..abt how to appear popular..thats it !! the trick to fake it up..to put up a pretence. The facts that i wud share with u are not manufactured out of nowhere but the result of being part of a very competitive class(Btech-4 electrical engineering ,2008 ,NIT –SURAT).We had all the biggies in our batch starting from so called Research gurus(they know more abt radiation than Rayleigh-Jeans.. !!!) ,big shot politicians & psephologist(they appear to be so gud&suave..that u thinkof inviting them to Oprah’s show),ramp queens to beauty queens(the amount of heartbreaks nd break-ups they generate..ah ..wud even make Aishwariya Rai jealous!!),mimickers,...college talent hunt winners,robotic experts,consistent toppers..u name it and we have got it..BTECH (2008)trical may seem to be heaven ...but for a super loser like it was no-less than devil’s own pardise..obviously u tend to loose urself in a myriad of such talent.But luckily ,after being overawed for a couple of sems by such people , i realized something ,everyone was not genuine .some just faked it up,and in fact it was so good that people had to believe you,so in the following post.i will share with u some tricks that wud make u appear as R&D biggie,a sort of intellectual scholar..and believe me i have tried these tricks myself and to good effect,(some fools still believe i am gud at R&D..)
Here’s the recipe, remember the sooner the con begins (as early as 1 sem lets say ),the more genuine it wud appear..First of all, you shud have a good command over English,atleast spice up ur vocab with such words like” Astonishingly simple”..”Eureka effect”..”Fantastically Complex”…”Option is always With U “…“There is no science without mathematics”..”Concentration reaching asymptotic levels”..yeah expression of these sorts create an aura ,that the audience will have no choice but bow down before you. And to add to that u shud know a bit of technical terms ,although u may not understand them ,like Hamiltonian Space,FFT,Biometric Indices,FPGA,Watershed Segmentation,Multi-modal Data Fusion..etc its like pretending to know German by learning a few words.. Whenever you find a lousy mortal, make sure to drown him with these technical.. biggies..if he doesn’t get a bit of it ..the better. badger him until he thinks u are GOD(9 out 10 fall into this trap..).
Next make sure , u stuff ur table with thick fat books on random subjects(the mundane crowd shudnt have any inkling abt that subject)..best bet pick books on Advanced Robotics, Theory of Relativity, Pattern Recognition, Statistical analysis of Patterns(u will easily find them in the library)and bunch of research papers(dwl them from IEEE ,Springer every reputed college has access to these journals).When somebody walks in ur room, start ur badger, when somebody asks u what ur reading start the badger again. the aura keeps building. Also remember to tell them ,with the utmost chagrin how u love to read all these stuff but the crappy curriculum stifles u to read mundane subjects like electrical machines..etc.The kid will start worshipping u the next moment, and will start spreading ur glory all over.
Above all when u have silly adhocs,and lecturers taking ur class, ask them questions that they wouldn’t even dream of in their wildest nightmares, not that tough to do googling will help u through. But beware when u have a smart faculty, keep mum, silence is golden then, later u cud say, that subject hardly interests you.
If u do these with finesse ,the job is half done,next u just need to slog a bit to carry out the act well.Whenever ,u have fests in ur college,ignore them with a sense of dejection.saying na not of my level ,but make sure u attend fests of I.I.T’s and I.I.M’s..(reputed instis) although u go there just to attend the guest lectures.Come back and sing like a canary abt the difference in standards,until they start sympathizing with you.Then comes the most difficult part ,try to get hold of a summer or winter project,its not that difficult keep pinging profs,try calling them up,or land up in an IIT and start knocking every prof’s door(if u are that desperate, I was lucky, pinging and a bit of luck helped me).Remain isolated from all ur batchmates for that period,just scrap back saying “I am dead busy” but always remember to tell them what you are working on(cook up a gud project name)and how progressive the work is.
Believe me when u return back ,the word would have spread all over,u are by then a research scholar ,someone who has either cracked a new formulae or implemented a new algorithm(my cover was algorithm).And if u have a bit of good looks,any girl wud be ready to be ur date(damn I lacked the looks).U wud be already topping the popularity charts .
These are no figments of my imagination,but facts ,that truly hold,just give it a shot and see the effect.
